When You Feel Lost…

This wasn’t one of the posts I originally planned to write. It’s not one of the titles that I had written down. It’s just an idea, a thought that popped into my mind and all the sudden I started writing this blog in my head. And that’s why I knew I had to write it. I’m going to say that I truly believe this message is from God, for me and for you. It may not be the most organized or drafted post, but it’s a blog from the heart and soul that I believe is very meaningful.

It’s scary to feel lost, to feel as if you have no idea where to go or what to do. To have this desire to be so much more and make an impact, yet have no direction for how to go about doing that. When people say they’ve found their dream job/career or they are following their passion, and you still don’t know…I’ve been there (heck, I’m still there). It’s scary, it’s terrifying, it causes fear to creep in and take over. In today’s world there are so many options, paths, careers, choices, etc. that it overwhelms us into just staying where we are–happy or not. We tend to turn to people asking them what we should do, letting their opinions or decision become the choices we make. We turn our attention so intensely onto another person, object, etc.  to fill that void/lost feeling we have. Or maybe we just stay where we are, hopelessly scraping by; we give up. Oftentimes we are so desperate for answers and immediate fixes that we almost always overlook the one simple truth. You see here’s the truth:

It’s not that we’re lost, it’s that we are looking for answers in all the wrong places.

That’s it. We turn to friends, family, significant others, substances, food, addictions, things we can control, etc. instead of running to the one who already has a plan for you. You aren’t lost, there is a plan for your life far greater than you could ever imagine, so much greater that if you knew it all right this instant, you couldn’t even comprehend it. That’s why there are no quick fixes or immediate clarity because we only got a piece at a time; and over time those little pieces add up to the big, grand life that God has planned for you. I understand that this isn’t easy. That it’s not easy to let go of control and to feel lost with no direction, but the great thing is, is that God knows this too and He is looking out for you–whether you feel it or not. In times when you feel lost with no direction, here’s what you need to remember: the only direction you need to turn is to God. It doesn’t matter if you know what you want to do, who you want to be, what your passion or purpose is. Give it to God and he will supply the rest.

It can be easy to run to things of this world which give quick gratification, but you and I both know that whatever that is, it will ultimately leave you feeling empty in the end–wanting and needing more. So instead in tough times, when you don’t know what to do or where to go, run to the One who does know, the One who will meet all your needs according to the riches in Christ Jesus. You are not lost, you are just going in the opposite direction looking for answers in the wrong places. When you feel lost, remember this and remind yourself to turn your focus and direction back on God. Remind yourself to be in constant communication with Him and to put your full faith and trust in what He can do. No matter how lost you feel, you’re just one step away from the Father who is calling you to Him.

You aren’t lost; you don’t have no direction. You are loved by the only direction that leads to joy, purpose, and grace. Follow that road and don’t look back. Instead look to the future, to all the amazing things the God of the universe has in store for you, and to the present, to what He is doing in your life right now.

 

Who are you living for?

Who or what you live for consumes your life. Trust me. That’s how most eating disorders start. You live for your body, for this messed up ideal in your head, for society’s view that being skinny/small/low-weight is being perfect. lived for all these things. I wanted to look a certain way and lived my life based on how I thought society or other people would look at me, judge my body, and think of me. I was so caught up in hating my body and who I was that I forgot myself, I let someone/thing else dictate how I was to live my life.

None of this is easy to admit, it isn’t easy to type this, but if I can help just one person, reach someone struggling with my message then it’s worth it. I see it so much in today’s world, not just with eating disorders, but with anything. People are losing themselves trying to live for approval, other people, material things, etc. We get so caught up in what other people think of us, our lives, the choices we make, the items we buy, the “image” we portray that we actually end up losing the most important thing: ourselves. We lose sight of who we are, who we are made to me, who we truly want to be. Because I guarantee you that 99.9% of the people that try to live that way don’t actually want to be, it’s not what they truly desire, but they are so set on this image they think they need to be. Listen to me, you don’t need to be anything other than yourself. You are worthy, beautiful, lovable, smart, successful, deserving, capable whether someone else does or does not think so.

Whoever we live for dictates who we become. And eventually who we become turns into who we are. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If we are so set in our identity, then no matter what other people say, think, or do to us…IT WON’T MATTER because we know it’s not true. Think of it this way. If someone came up to you, pointed to a car, and said that is a machine that washes, dries, and folds all your clothes, you would look at them like they’re crazy. Why? Because you know it’s a car, you know it’s purpose is to get people from location to location and you know all of this because you’ve grown up learning and living it. But now imagine that same person could go back in time (with the car) and talk to a pilgrim. If that person walked up to a pilgrim, pointed to the car and said that is a machine that washes, dries, and folds all your clothes, what would the pilgrim say/think? They might believe them. Why? Because they don’t know any different, they’ve never seen, used or lived with this “car” before so whatever someone tells them about it, they can easily believe and adopt as the truth. The same goes for you. When you live for someone or something else, you lose touch with who you truly are–you become like the pilgrim who has ever seen a car. You allow other people to dictate your truth; you take what they say or think about you as true, and start adopting it as who you are.

But if you were with the pilgrim when the person told them about the machine that washes, dries, and folds all your clothes, you would still not believe them–even when the pilgrim did. You still know it’s a car and what it’s true purpose is, no matter what the pilgrim chooses to believe. The same should be for our lives. Even when other people think certain things about us, or tell people things that aren’t so true, if we know and stand firm in who we are then we don’t lose sight of our true selves. It doesn’t matter what others think about us. What matters is what you think about yourself. And no matter how much you believe that having other people think well of you, approve of your life choices, and “like” you will make you like yourself more…let me tell you, it won’t. The way you start liking yourself, is to love every single fiber and thread you’re created with. And the way you start loving yourself, is to actually get to know yourself on a deeper level; understand your likes and dislikes, your wants and needs, your dreams so big they scare you and your fears so small they terrify you.

This is why I live for myself. Living for myself means standing firm in my identity as a child of God and in who HE says I am meant to be. It means I focus on him; He is guiding my path, my plans, my future. But also just because God is in control, doesn’t mean that I cannot pursue things that I want, enjoy or am passionate about because all of those things God has given to me and blessed me with. Living for myself means that I don’t care if people don’t understand my passion for weightlifting, it doesn’t matter if someone agrees with my healthy lifestyle, it’s okay if no one supports my big dreams or if they disapprove of something in my life. It’s okay because all of these things are what I love to do, they are what I choose to do and they make me who I am today. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about people. Not at all. I truly want to help people, to inspire them with my story, my passion and the love of God. It just means that when someone says something about me or thinks a certain way about me, I don’t let that dictate who I actually am because I know who I am.

Remember that life is short and we don’t get a second chance to live. So please don’t spend your one opportunity living for the wrong reasons, the wrong people. The most important thing you can do is to love yourself. It sounds silly, but truly loving yourself sets you up for a whole life of love, happiness, positivity, peace, success, and joy. My only question to you is: who are you living for?

Day in the Life

A week into season now and I’m loving it, but let me tell you: it has been a blur! Last week was filled with 3-a-days, meetings, conditioning challenges, practice, scrimmages, and team bonding and now that school has started things have died down as far as the amount of practice goes. But the added business of school gets counted in as well so basically, I’m still gonna be busy. But I love the grind, the time and effort put in so that hopefully at the end of season we have some bling on our hands from winning a national championship.

With that said, because the life of a student-athlete (SA) in college is MUCH different than most other just regular students, I thought I would give a quick glimpse into a day in my life for a normal or average week. One thing is that our schedules can often change a lot week to week so flexibility is really key in keeping afloat and not drowning in stress and anxiety. Another big part of a SA’s schedule is that it is generally more structured as far as the fact that we have designated practice and lifting times each week. This is definitely nice, but it can also be difficult because this means that we have to plan our classes, social time, studying, etc. around these designated times rather than doing them as we please. We are still normal students, taking just as many classes as others and balancing duties, responsibilities, issues, social activities, etc. that comes with being in college and just simply living. One of the reasons I chose to go D3 is because there is an emphasis on being a student first (hence why we are called student-athletes and not the other way around). I like being able to focus on my studies–the real reason I am in college– while still competing at a very high level in my sport. With that here is my schedule:

Monday

We have practice from 7-9 am(but we have to be there around 6:20-6:30 to set up and warm-up which means I’m up anywhere between 5:40 and 5:50 am). Then we go lift at the weight room from 9-9:45.

I don’t have class until the afternoon so from 10-12:20 I’ll shower, get ready for the day, maybe do some homework or run an errand, etc. Then, I’ll eat lunch and head out to class from 1:00-5:15. Once back, I’ll make dinner and spend the rest of the night doing homework. Sometimes when I don’t have homework, I’ll blog or see if there is an event on campus (like a soccer game).

Around 8:00 pm I get my night snack and then get ready for bed, aiming to be in bed by 8:30 pm (doesn’t often happen, but I try!) I’ll read for about 10 minutes and then go to sleep.

Tuesday

I only have classes M&W (plus 1 online class) so Tuesdays are a day to catch up on errands, cleaning/laundry, homework, my online class, etc.

Tuesdays are normally game days. If not, we will just have practice from 7-10. If so, and it’s a home game we will have a serve and pass from 8-9 am. Then, we will be at the locker room round 5 pm (for a 7 pm game) and start getting ready, etc. If it’s away, we leave early afternoon (around 1-2 pm) to drive wherever we are playing. We will then do the same thing before the 7 pm game and drive back that night–usually arriving close to midnight.

Wednesday

Wednesday is the exact same schedule as Monday for me. Practice, weights, and classes are at the same time. Later into season, Wednesday mornings will be study hall for those who need it and then weights from 9:00-9:45 am. I don’t have to go to study hall so just weights for me (yay for sleeping in until 7:30!)

Thursday

We have morning practice from 7-10 am.

Again, no classes on Thursdays so much like Tuesdays–I can use Thursdays to catch up on things. Especially since we travel almost every weekend, I am really able to finish homework and pack for the weekend.

Friday

Game day! We usually leave around 8 am to travel to our destination to play 1-2 games that afternoon/night. Then, either Friday night after the game or Saturday morning we will travel to another destination for a second game that weekend. Then, Saturday night we drive home usually arriving anywhere between 11pm-2am Sunday morning.

If it’s a home game (we have very few), we will again do a morning serve and pass. Arrive around 4:30-5pm in the locker room and get ready for the game at 7 or 7:30.

Saturday

As mentioned above, we have a second game on Saturday, generally in another location. So we either get up Saturday morning to drive or get up and get ready to play that afternoon.

Sunday

We are off! NCAA rules say we have to have one day off a week and this is usually it. The only time it isn’t is if we fly somewhere like CA or another state and travel back Sunday (then we would get Monday off)–but this rarely happens. I use Sundays to grocery shop, meal prep, clean, do laundry, catch up on homework, and prepare for the next week to start it all again!

I hope y’all enjoyed a glimpse into a day in the life for an average week. It is busy and takes lots of time management and effort to make it all work, but I love the life I live and wouldn’t trade it for anything!

Switching Gears

Switching gears, say what? Don’t worry the essence of this blog will still stay the same: Be Beyoutifully Healthy. However, I’m entering into season this Fall which means I will be very, very busy and traveling a lot. So I thought it would be fun to document more of the season, how we’re doing, a day-in-the-life, etc.

I’ll post tips on staying healthy on the go as an athlete, as well as what my training and eating schedule looks like. Now, I know that most of you reading this probably are not athletes and therefore this will not apply. However, I thought you might be interested in learning more and seeing things from a new perspective. But on second note too, I will also try to get in as much other content that may be more relevant as I can. I want this blog to be both helpful tips as well as lifestyle. With that said, if you have any ideas or anything you want to see or read about please let me know!

I’m excited to bring y’all along to this new chapter as I continue finding balance and my healthy lifestyle.